Ryemarkable Kathy Wood

A Mother's Day Surprise! A daughter's tribute to her mother...

Name: Kathy Wood

Family info: 1 husband (John), 5 children (Katie, Mary, Colleen, Andrew, Brendan), 9 grandchildren (Leo, Neely, Seamus, Chip, June, Rosie, James, Claire, Rowan)

Pets: Teddy, a 12-year old mutt who is the latest in a long string of beloved dogs

Written and dedicated by: Colleen Capalbo (with input from my sisters!)

What was it like growing up with her as your mom? 

Where to even begin! My mom, Kathleen Herbster Wood (known as Kathy to her friends and family) is quite possibly the most selfless person on Earth. She is the first person to offer help, offer support, offer her time and attention whenever it is in need. She is also a creative force, an artist and art educator who has shared her passion for the arts with all of her students. But I would argue her most cherished role is that of Mom and Nana. 

What are some of your earliest memories of your mom when you were a child?

Some of my earliest memories of my mom are of her always reading, especially with my siblings and me piled onto her lap, listening as she read aloud. I remember the nightly family dinners she worked so hard to maintain, and how she would gamely get involved in whatever imaginary-play scenario we concocted.

She had a way of making everyday moments feel special and whimsical. She celebrated every birthday and holiday with our big extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Our home was also filled with a vast assortment of pets, including dogs, hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, fish, frogs, and eels (yes, eels).

I remember chaotic family dinners with loud sing-a-longs and younger brothers running wild around the table. My mom used to joke that it was “feeding time at the zoo,” and she was certainly the zookeeper.

She took us along to the Rye Art Center to play with clay while she taught, and to Mass at Resurrection with her parents. Most of all, I remember that she was always there with a hug when we skinned our knees or had nightmares.

What values did she instill in you and your siblings?

She taught us to forge close bonds, learn conflict resolution, and be kind.

My mom has a remarkably close relationship with her own siblings. As the middle of five children, she spent her childhood being pulled up and down by both sets of brothers and sisters, something I can relate to deeply!

She is amicable, generous, empathic, and a consummate peacemaker. She has instilled in us just how special and important siblings are. They are with you forever, there to support you when your mom and dad are gone, experiencing life’s ups and downs together from the same vantage point.

The five of her children know that sibling relationships are some of the most important relationships on the planet.

Do you remember how her students or community would respond to her?

It’s not surprising that this selfless woman has had a lifelong career in one of the most selfless roles - teaching. My mom studied art therapy in college, the concept of using art to tackle big emotions and self-regulate, and this really is the foundation of her approach to teaching (and parenting, I would argue!). She is understanding of her students and can speak to them on their level, really getting to know them so she can help them identify what they are capable of and interested in.

When I was younger, my mom was a teacher at a nursery school in Port Chester (where me and my brothers attended!), and then was in and out of the schools as a substitute in Rye. She started as the art teacher at Resurrection School in 1999, where she taught for 20 years before retiring in 2019. I love it when I encounter peers now who exclaim “I had your mom for art!” before regaling me with stories of how much fun they had in her classroom or a memorable project they completed in her class. 

My favorite anecdote though, is my mom always saying that when it came time to do report cards, she would happily share that everyone gets an “A”, commenting that art is meant to be subjective and creative and, most of all, fun.

My mom’s longest standing teaching role has been at the Rye Art Center, where she has been teaching ceramics since 1982. I loved going to clay class with my mom when I was younger, and now my children get to do the same and come home with their own masterpieces. She is now serving on the Executive Board of the Rye Art Center, working to ensure its continued success and to be enjoyed by future generations.

Now she’s helping you raise your own children. What has that experience been like for you? How does it feel to see your mom with your kids? 

I am so incredibly grateful for the role my parents play in my children’s lives. When my oldest daughter was born, my mom decided to retire from her long tenured career at Resurrection and “formally” take on the role of being our childcare when I returned to work when my daughter was 4 months old.

My dad retired a few years later to join the fun. We have been so fortunate to have my mom and dad acting as childcare for our three children (ages 6, 4, and 2) ever since, arriving at our house at 8am and leaving after 5pm everyday while my husband and I both work demanding jobs. It is so special to see the bond between my parents and our children, they are creating core memories with their grandparents that so few get the opportunity to make.

I often send my parents articles that say how beneficial it is for grandparents to have this connection with their grandchildren, citing the physical and mental benefits of grandparents acting as caretakers to this younger generation - a beautiful (and mutually beneficial!) relationship. I love at the end of a busy work day when my parents share videos and pictures and stories with me of how the kids had made them laugh, and how they kept them on their toes. At the same time, it is not lost on me how much hard work it is to care for three energetic young kids – the schedules, the diapers, the meals, gym and library classes, making sure homework is done, the various pickups and drop offs, coordinating playdates and carpools, and keeping them occupied and happy throughout the day (with much more energy and creativity than I can usually muster). I often reflect on and acknowledge how lucky I am that we have this childcare arrangement, especially as I’ve seen how challenging finding and navigating childcare can be for friends and family.

In what ways do you see her parenting style reflected in how you’re raising your children? 

My mom is a calm, patient, and pragmatic woman who meets you where you are, doesn’t try to overcomplicate things, and overall operates with a warm, supportive, and encouraging parenting style. I have learned so much about being a mom from watching my mom be a mom and grandmother. She is the ultimate example of doing what is right for your children no matter what, and always showing them how loved and

appreciated they are. With five kids, my mom and dad did an exceptional job of making us all feel seen and heard, supporting us in our passions and life decisions, and encouraging us to take risks and think outside the box. My parents are still practicing this - now tasked with dividing their attention between their nine grandchildren. They make an effort to spend time with all of them, whether it be celebrating birthdays in person, traveling for youth hockey or little league games, attending cheerleading competitions and dance performances up and down the east coast. You name it, my parents are there for their grandkids.

When my youngest brother and his wife just had their new baby in January, my parents were on a plane to Nashville to meet him as fast as they could. It’s this prioritization of family over everything that has truly been instilled in me and my siblings from my mom and dad. You learn from what you see and experience in your own upbringing, and I think in particular, my mom learned this supportive and loving parenting approach from her mom (also a teacher!), and this is something I try to emulate raising our children. I also have learned so much from watching my parents’ relationship with each other - how they have modeled a successful and loving marriage for over 40 years. Their relationship is one built on a strong foundation of adoration, mutual respect, and full of laughter and joy, and that is certainly something to try to emulate!

What do you admire most about her now, as an adult?

As an adult and mother now, I really admire her ability to not ‘sweat the small stuff.’  It isn’t easy to be a police officer’s wife, have your own career, and also raise five children, but somehow she managed it all and kept all her proverbial balls in the air! She had confidence in her kids and let us find our own way, while quietly remaining there for support. She is always looking for the bright side and has a deep and unshakable faith that keeps her steady. I often tell people that I loved being a kid in a large family, but am not sure I could hack it as a mother to a big family, and that is a testament to the family environment she created, not to mention her logistical prowess. 

What do you hope your own children learn from her?

I hope they learn that you can be strong and selfless at the same time. You can be a pillar of strength for your family as well as a soft landing spot for everyone who needs you. I already see them absorbing the value of art and creative outlets in life from her, as well as how important family is. 

What’s something about your mom that makes you smile? 

My mom is friendly, quick to strike up a conversation with those around her, but she is certainly not one to seek the spotlight - as evidenced in her humble approach to showcasing her incredible art. She has the most spectacular laugh, one that makes you laugh right along with her even if you don’t know what’s so funny.

Other fun details about your mom: favorite books, Netflix, fun facts, or other:

She is a fan of all mediums of the arts (naturally!) and has eclectic taste in movies, music, musicals, TV, and especially books. She is a sucker for a good romance but also loves sci-fi. She is an avid reader, has a sneaky financial-savvy streak, and grew up in and around the water on sailboats and on the swim team, even becoming scuba certified! She loves to travel and experience art in-person. She is always bedecked in tons of jewelry, loves making her own, and her “jewelry drawer” has taken on the aura of a treasure chest among her envious daughters and granddaughters. She has painted a personalized oil painting for every one of her 9 grandchildren to hang in their nurseries when they were born. I think she ages backwards every time she snuggles a new baby 😉.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!